Friday, March 29, 2013

5 Years Old - Daddy's Little Girl

yup....that's me :)
This is a true story - a story I need to tell to find peace and a happy place....

When I was about 5 years old, I remember my dad spending a whole lot of time with me.  We were buddies.  Nah...we were sweethearts.  My dad loved and cherished me in a way that's hard to believe, and I adored him.  He was the center of my universe.  He would drive me around, take me out to dinner, introduce me to his friends, take me to the mall....pretty much anything his little princess desired.

My dad was a romantic.  Birthdays, parties, dates....yes dates, with his 5 year old princess.  My favorite restaurants and stores in the mall - anything to make me happy and close to him.

My mom was away most of the time - later I found out she basically left the family for 2 years, and no one to this day really knows where she went during that time.

But I know where I was.  I was becoming daddy's little wife.

Pajama time increasingly took on romantic overtones as my dad would sit on the couch in boxers and t-shirt and tell me what to put on for the night.  It was an event, really.  Looking back, I had no idea what was really going on at the time - but my dad was grooming me.  I had little pink PJs in all shapes and styles, and a lot of princess-themed stuff.  Daddy liked his girl in little princess PJs, panties, and stuff.

The first memories I have of something happening (in retrospect) involved a night of me getting ready in PJs my dad had bought for me - except he had cut the bottom of the nightie, and all the sudden it was really short.  He made a funny of it, but I had a hard time understanding.  I was wearing little white panties he picked out (he always picked out my panties), and we were snuggling on the couch as usual.  In retrospect, he must have masturbated most of the time when we were together, but this was the first time I remember him touching me and reacting when he (apparently) orgasmed.  All I remember were his hands between my legs - saying something about how much he loved my new little princess nightie and my tiny white little panties.  His body got hot and he obviously made a mess under my little blanket.   That began the journey and relationship with my dad that culminated in him taking my virginity years later, and insisting that we should secretly get married.

Within a short time after that first incident (it's been too long ago understand the exact timelines), my dad began jerking off on me constantly - on my face, in my panties, as I obediently spread my ass and of course on my "baby hole".  That was his name for it.  My dad was obsessed with me - and as any little girl would, I loved the attention.  Little did I know I was being set up for a life of addiction, confusion, and unreal expectations from men.  His dick all over my little body, loving me, sexualizing me, obsessing over me - and the truth is, I loved it.  Any 5 year old loves the attention of a father, and I was no exception.  His dick in my panties - I can still remember the warm rush when he would cum in my panties up against my vagina, while frantically rubbing me and trying to make out with me.  It was all overwhelming and extremely exciting for a little girl.  I couldn't help it.

I am unfortunately a very attractive girl who gets tons of attention, and I've become a man whore.  I pursue men like most guys hunt girls.  My rush is to make them crave me and to get them off as hard as I can.  It's an addiction, and it's not healthy for me at all.  I still do stuff with my dad - I'm 24 - and it creates a world for me that is confusing enough that I want to die at times because the pressure of managing my "normal" self, and the "secret" self are too much.

If you have a comment or question please post - I will reply to it if I can :-)